8 Things I’d Tell Trump If I Met Him In An Alley

#8: “Hate to break it to you, but I will kick your ass.”

Christine Wolf
6 min readOct 12, 2020


Photo courtesy of the asskicking author

If I ran into President Donald J. Trump in an alley today, this is what I’d want to say:

1. “The company you keep is creepy.”

So you’ve partied with Jeffrey Epstein? You’re endorsed by White supremacy groups and far right extremists? You’ve appointed Cabinet members who aren’t even qualified for their jobs? While these are clearly deal breakers, the way you express your feelings about women — particularly your own female children — is what makes my skin crawl most.

2. “You’ve made us the laughingstock of the world.”

In your overzealous efforts to project confidence, strength and power, you’ve alienated most allies and countless Americans — even those who formerly stood with you. Even worse? You seem blind to the disfavor and disillusionment you create.

And though you — and your blind loyalists — attempt to downplay/joke about/make excuses for your impulsivity and narcissism, you can‘t ignore the truth: People are laughing, and it’s not *with you*.

3. “Transparency is a superpower, and secrets are for cowards and liars.”

Why didn’t you tell the American people the truth about the dangers of coronavirus? Why do you continue to keep your taxes hidden? Why don’t you ever acknowledge…



Christine Wolf

Memoir Coach. Author. Journalist. Marathoner. Lover of emotions, words & spicy nachos. Grateful you’re here. Twitter/Insta @tinywolf1. www.christinewolf.com